|Epitome of minimalism| The fig tree

During the last couple of months when I was writing but not publishing I was - almost continuously – in a spiritual and philosophical state. I really took the time to review my life, and celebrate the successes I made as well as pondering over the route to take forward. Because once a goal is established there’s a moment of choice in which you decide how to go further. Either you stay where you’re at and leave it at that, or you set yourself new goals. I chose the latter, but setting life goals in your mid-twenties is hard. There are so many options.

Sylvia Plath describes it perfectly in The bell jar:

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

When I look outside my window I see my fig tree full of unripe figs, they’re still in progress, just like my social desires. It hit me, even if I am officially a grown woman, ready to conquer the world and make a choice. There will always be room to grow and a desire for more of anything and everything. I'll always aspire to be a better person, live a healthier life and make wiser descisions. There is no completion. Maybe true fulfillment will never be, and instead life is a series of short moments of pure bliss, followed by mundaine moments and short periods of pain. And while you ride these waves of emotions in which you have no control, you decide how to capture each moment. Either with a open mind and heart, eager to experience life to the fullest, or in a more controlling manner by cutting emotions or situations off with work, drugs or other distractions.

I try to stick to the first and by doing so I acknowledge and accept the fear I experience now I’m full on this blogging thing again, and I set to make a career out of it. I work out on a daily basis to keep my hormone levels balanced (it really works, guys!), stick to a healthy diet and most importantly get all the rest I need when it’s needed. And I must say this routine has proven to be successful in the last month. Lets hope it stays that way…

Leave a comment and tell me: what are your goals in life and how do work towards them? 

Love xx


|Epitome of sartorial| The fault in our clothes

Ever since skinny jeans exist I'm taken care of in the jeans department. Before I was forced to do everything with a naked bum or in trousers where both of my legs fitted in one leg. A slim leg fitted me like a straight fit and often brands didn't even had a size 24. 

It can be such a burden if you're body type has proportions that aren't commercially interesting. Especially if you love to be spot-on when it comes to fashion. Being well-dressed means more than just wearing a trend-du-moment. It's making sure that what you're wearing, looks like it's molded for your body. Some little details can be overlooked from time to time, like when the seems of a plain tee don't land exactly on the shoulders (this is only an exceptation because I have the shoulders of a swimmer and Tee's are my current favourites). Sometimes this means that one is never able to wear and look gorgeous in certain clothes. My list of unwearables contains: the pantalon, white blouse, sneakers and hats.

The pantalon is a piece I link to adulthood. It's everyday wear for the working woman who looks simple and chic. For me it's never a fit, literally. The waistband is always to wide for my hips, so the pantalon hangs loosely around the widest part of my hips and I look as if I'm wearing sweatpants of quality fabric. But I don't want any high-end sweatpants, I hate looking sportive.

The white blouse is another essential that will never make it to my closet. I always want one after googling Parisian, but in the fitting room I look like a toddler playing dress up. Maybe it's because of my curls, but Daphny in a blouse looks far from authenic or sophisticated. 

Sneakers, I will never understand them sneakers. I think they all look alike and stupid. Even the white tennis ones, which everybody loves all of a sudden.

And last but not least, hats. I will never be able to wear a hat because of my big curly hair. Of course there are options like braiding, but I don't need to wear a hat that bad. 


|Epitome of minimalism| The perfect day

For day #6 of the Alex Beadon's blogging challenge I'll share my truth on experiencing versus thinking. I've had a lot of perfect days and I can't remember all of them, but I do remember the infinite feeling of a perfect day. 

Sophora plant from pinterest

Sophora plant from pinterest

First of all a perfect day is filled with love towards all things and beings within the visual reach, but also love towards things and beings in my memory. All the passants seem to smile at me and when I meet up with my friends, they are my favourite people in the world. There is no place I rather be than where I am at, at that moment. Friends get me excited to do whatever is on the agenda and time does not seem to exist, nor do any distractions like phones or obligations. Second of all everything is effortles and graceful. My attention is focused    and everything is as mesmerizing and interesting to me as it is to a one year old. These days come unexpected and are due to a very positive mind at ease.

There's also the thought of a perfect day. The day that only exits in my mind and doesn't unleash a feeling, merely the thought of the feeling experienced with an actual perfect day, as described above. 

Lets call the latter the concept of a perfect day. The concept starts of with waking up really early around 5 am. Then taking a shower, having a healthy breakfast and two yoga classes: first meditation followed by power yoga. At lunchtime I am catching up with a friend while having a delicious meal. Back at home I start writing and finish an ongoing piece, perfectly. I stop for a coffee at Headfirst and wander around the streets and get myself a vintage classic novel. In the evening I enjoy a homemade dinner with my love and daughter.

I experienced that both days are capable of generating a happy feeling. But while the latter gets me a sensation of winning, the actual perfect day establishes serenity and peace of mind.


|Epitome of minimalism| Stop succeeding start the process

If you're a twenty-something you've been the subject of many articles. Everyone of them with an explanation of why we young promises aren't succeeding. I believe one important matter is being overlooked. That thing is: excitement for the process.

In this day and age we're obsessed with numbers, outcomes and instant succes. Everything we notice is of course doing great on one of those subjects. So we're constantly surrounded by and reminded of the rule we learned in school. Either you succeed or you fail, there's never a third option. There's room for mistakes, but one to many, and you're out.

During your education no one, except maybe your mom, calls to say you're doing such a great job, while you're in the midst of a paper. Once you finished it your teacher tells you if you failed or succeeded.

At the end of the road, when you graduate from college everyone congratulates you on succeeding, wishes you well on your career path and there's Vodka to last a lifetime. 
After six months you're still looking for that job, you just finished the last drip of your lifetime supply of Vodka and you feel a bit confused. 

You're putting in more effort than ever, but feeling like you're failing every second of your young life. Why? Well, first of all you're unintenionally detoxing from acknowledgement from teachers. Second, you just ended a phase where you were at the top and knew everything there was to know, and now you're starting at the bottom knowing nothing. But more importantly your best trained feature is working towards a desired outcome, but results in adult life take far too long to keep you motivated and very often the result is not even what you wanted. Like that famous saying: "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

That thing we need to develop as adults is enjoying the process.  When you apply for a job, enjoy what you're doing at that moment; describing yourself, your best features and your desires. I'm sure everyone enjoys to talk about themselves. And when you're like me, a freelance editor, who spends more time making coffee than actually writing. Make sure to keep writing what's at heart, reading those who inspire and creating opportunities. 

And when you think of those cliche successes like Steve Jobs, Oprah or your old classmate, who is doing way better than you, remember they never new what was going to happen eventually. All they could do was putting effort in what they desired to do. Because you may need others to make money, but only yourself to do what you do best. 

|Epitome of cool| The lotus eaters

I am obsessed with film and TV. From an early age it was my way of escaping from and learning about life. Through a Dutch soap opera I discovered that my father was a drug addict. Yes, we will always have one hell of a relationship, the TV and I. It is inevitable that this dear boxy friend of mine is my main source of inspiration. I catch myself wanting things I have seen in a TV-show or film, all the time, like the ‘’naked dress”. But sometimes the inspiration is more than material, like with the film The Lotus Eaters (2011).


The Lotus Eaters is about a group of young Londoners that live a hedonistic and drugged life without any intention to ever stop their escapism. Their constant drug parties seem to bore the hell out of them, but apparently they can’t think of anything better to do. Come to think of it the film itself is rather boring. Somehow I still got an epiphany, mainly because of the main character Alice. She is an insecure, introverted and very stylish girl. In the story she is leaving her modelling days behind to make it to the big screen. She barely speaks and when she does it is very soft and I think that in real life she would be unnoticed in a crowd. Luckily, all the characters in the film are shallow shouters, so Alice’s modesty draws all the attention.  She makes it look stylish to be an introvert. She is the one standing next to the dance floor when all her friends are having the time of their lives. And she makes it look cool, you would rather watch her not moving, than seeing the cliché extraverts slurping all the energy out of each other.  The film made me realise it is cool to be an introvert. That it doesn’t look like you’re autistic, not social or arrogant. I love how they got to capture an introvert girl in the midst, of course not the centre of attention, of a vivid group of friends. It hit close to home.